7 Signs of a Serial Dater to Look Out For

There are all sorts of dating types out there, from those who tiptoe into romantic endeavors to people who go all in when it feels right. But there are also those who seem to jump from one relationship to another, breaking hearts along the way. If you’re dating with intention, seeing the signs of a serial dater might be unsettling.  

We’re here to talk about serial dating, including what it is, why people develop this type of dating pattern, and the signs to look out for.

What Is Serial Dating? 

A serial dater is someone who consistently moves from one short-term relationship to another. They avoid pursuing long-term commitment and emotional depth, and end relationships once the initial excitement fades.

This pattern distinguishes itself from healthy dating exploration. While it’s normal to date multiple people before finding the right match, serial dating is characterized by repetitive behavior: repeatedly entering relationships with no genuine intention of building something lasting, then moving on as soon as real vulnerability or commitment is required.

Serial daters typically don’t stay in relationships long enough to develop an authentic emotional connection. Instead, they might cycle through the honeymoon phase with different people, seeking the rush of new romance while avoiding the deeper work that serious relationships require.

This dating pattern of quick breakups often leaves a trail of confused and hurt partners wondering what went wrong. 

What Makes Someone a Serial Dater? 

There are several reasons why someone might develop a pattern of serial dating, so let’s dive into serial dater psychology. 

They’re Looking for a Romantic “High”

You know that feeling you get when you first meet and get to know someone who piques your interest? There’s an undeniable spark (or full-on flame) that lights up inside you, making you giddy, excited, and passionate.

Well, some people who serial date might be constantly pursuing this romantic “high,” letting go of the other person once things simmer down and they no longer feel those intense emotions anymore. Basically, once the honeymoon phase is over, they’re onto the next. 

They’re Insecure

People who fulfill the serial dating definition might do so because they’re insecure in who they are or what they have to offer. In other words, they might jump from one relationship to another as a way of constantly seeking validation, one of the top signs of insecure men and insecure women.

They’re Afraid of Commitment

Serial dating is a telltale sign of avoiding commitment. Learn why some women and men afraid of commitment might replace long-term partnerships with short-term flings. 

They Fear Being Alone 

It’s normal for humans to crave community, but when it manifests as a fear of being alone, that can be a sign of deeper issues. People who aren’t confident in being by themselves, even for short periods of time, might seek serial dating relationships as a way to have constant companionship.

They’re Attention Seekers

People who serial date may be seeking attention through romantic pursuits to win someone over. Wooing others is part of their DNA, and they might find the feeling of someone falling head over heels for them (again and again) extremely enticing. 

They’re Overwhelmed by Options

Let’s face it: There are so many ways to meet people these days. And while that is a great thing, the sheer number of options singles encounter on dating apps can make anyone feel overwhelmed.

A larger pool of potential partners can foster the feeling that “there’s gotta be more out there.” So even if someone meets a compatible person online, they could still wonder who else they might find, motivating them to hop from relationship to relationship.Learn why matchmaking is a great alternative to dating apps and how to find a compatible partner.

Signs of a Serial Dater

By now, you’re probably wondering, “Is a serial dater a red flag?” A serial dater isn’t necessarily a red flag, especially if you’re looking for a casual dating relationship. But if you’re dating with the intention to find a long-term partner, a serial dater is probably a red flag because they might have some issues holding them back from a committed partnership. 

Instead of thinking about serial dating as good versus bad, consider your dating expectations to determine if a serial dater is someone to be wary of in your own romantic journey.

Here are seven signs of a serial dater so that you know what to look out for. 

1. They Love Bomb You

The Behavior: Serial daters often display over-the-top shows of affection early on, a manipulation tactic called love bombing. These grand gestures might seem romantic at first, but they’re designed to create intense attachment quickly.

What It Looks Like in Real Life:

• Texting “I love you” within the first few dates
• Buying expensive gifts before they really know you
• Making future plans (vacations, meeting family) unusually early
• Showering you with compliments that feel excessive for how long you’ve known each other
• Wanting to spend every single moment together immediately

Why They Do It: Love bombing creates artificial intimacy fast, allowing serial daters to experience the thrill of the chase and early relationship intensity without doing the work of building a real connection. Once you’re hooked, they often pull back dramatically, leading to confusion and the hot-and-cold pattern many serial daters exhibit.

2. They Play Hard To Get

While some serial daters might love-bomb you, others might opt for playing hard to get, turning on the charm, but then not following through with communicating. They might see this as the thrill of the chase, grabbing and holding your attention until it no longer serves them.

The Behavior: Some serial daters take the opposite approach, turning on charm intermittently but refusing to fully commit their time or attention. They might opt for playing hard to get, keeping you interested without ever fully investing themselves.

What It Looks Like in Real Life:

• Taking hours or days to respond to text messages despite being active on social media
• Canceling plans at the last minute, but suggesting vague “we should hang out soon” alternatives
• Being affectionate in person but distant via communication between dates
• Keeping their dating life mysterious and refusing to clarify where things stand
• Making you feel like you’re always pursuing them

Why They Do It: Serial daters often enjoy the thrill of the chase more than the relationship itself. By playing hard to get, they maintain control and keep you emotionally invested while avoiding any real vulnerability on their end.

3. They’re Emotionally Unavailable

This is one of the biggest signs of a serial dater: they’re emotionally unavailable. Perhaps it’s hard to have more than surface-level conversations or get to know personal details. Maybe they avoid talking about their past or being vulnerable with you. If you get the sense that the person isn’t ready for deep and meaningful communication, chances are that they’re on the serial dating train.

The Behavior: Emotional unavailability is perhaps the most defining characteristic of serial daters. They’re emotionally unavailable in ways that prevent genuine intimacy, keeping conversations surface-level and avoiding vulnerability at all costs.

What It Looks Like in Real Life:

• Changing the subject when conversations get personal or deep
• Refusing to discuss past relationships or previous breakups in any meaningful way
• Never asking about your feelings, goals, or what matters to you
• Sharing facts about their life, but nothing that reveals who they truly are
• Getting uncomfortable or withdrawn when you express emotions
• Deflecting with humor whenever things get serious

Why They Do It: True emotional connection requires vulnerability, something serial daters actively avoid. Whether it’s fear of intimacy, unresolved mental health issues, or simply not wanting the responsibility of someone else’s feelings, they keep things shallow to maintain their pattern.

4. They’re Hot, Then Cold

Many serial daters are quick to rush into a dating-ship, potentially texting or calling frequently and showing intense signs of infatuation. But then, everything can come to a screeching halt. You might find yourself suddenly wondering where they are or going days without speaking. This is probably a sign that they’re ready to move on (or have already).

The Behavior: Serial daters frequently exhibit inconsistent behavior. They’re intensely present one moment and completely distant the next. This hot-and-cold pattern often shows signs of infatuation rather than genuine feelings.

What It Looks Like in Real Life:

• Texting constantly for a week, then disappearing for several days
• Planning an amazing date, then going radio silent afterward
• Being affectionate and attentive in person, then cold and distant remotely
• Expressing strong feelings one day, then acting like acquaintances the next
• Pursuing you intensely until you reciprocate, then backing off immediately

Why They Do It: This inconsistency often signals that a serial dater is juggling multiple people or simply losing interest as the newness wears off. They’re engaged when they want validation and excitement, but pull back when real relationship expectations emerge. Many people experiencing this pattern wonder if they’re being ghosted or if the person will come back. The answer is usually that the cycle will repeat.

Here are tips on coping with being ghosted and dealing with rejection.

5. They Flirt With Other People

Do you notice your partner making eyes at other people when you’re out with them? Do they outwardly flirt with strangers or even your friends when you’re socializing?

While a little friendly flirtation is sometimes unavoidable in day-to-day life, outward displays that make you feel uncomfortable are certainly red flags. A serial dater might be on the lookout for their next relationship even when they’re in one already. 

The Behavior: Serial daters often keep their options open, even when they’re technically in a relationship. Inappropriate flirtation with others is a major red flag that they’re already looking for their next romance.

What It Looks Like in Real Life:

• Making suggestive comments to others in your presence
• Maintaining active dating app profiles while dating you
• Excessively liking and commenting on other people’s social media posts in flirtatious ways
• Giving out their phone number to people who show interest
• Talking about how attractive other people are in ways that make you uncomfortable
• Being overly friendly with exes or previous relationships in suspicious ways

Why They Do It: For serial daters, always having someone else in the wings provides an easy exit. They’re simultaneously dating you and auditioning your replacement, ensuring they never have to face being alone or investing fully in one person.

6. They Avoid Moving to the Next Level

The tendency for serial daters to be emotionally unavailable also means that they have an inability to take the relationship to the next level. Perhaps you’re developing deep feelings for them, but any time you want to talk about the future or where things are going, they shut down or play it off as something to discuss later. 

What you might be looking at is a situationship, that often-dreaded place between casual dating and a committed relationship. Read more about the signs of a situationship and what to do if you’re in one.

The Behavior: The inability to deepen the relationship is characteristic of serial dating patterns. They resist any progression that would signal genuine commitment or long-term potential.

What It Looks Like in Real Life:

• Refusing to define the relationship or have the “what are we?” conversation
• Never introducing you to friends, family, or important people in their life
• Avoiding discussions about the future, even casual mentions of plans months away
• Shutting down when you express developing feelings
• Keeping you in a situationship, that frustrating space between casual dating and a committed relationship
• Making excuses about why they’re “not ready” for anything serious, despite acting very interested

Why They Do It: Moving to the next level means accountability and investment. Serial daters prefer the excitement of new connections over the work of building something real. The moment a relationship requires actual emotional labor, they’re already looking for the exit.

7. Their Romantic Past Speaks for Itself

The best way to know if the person you’re seeing is the serial dating definition is to listen to them discuss their past romantic endeavors.

Have they bounced around from relationship to relationship? Do they talk about how much their exes wanted them, playing to their own ego? Are they typically the ones to break off a relationship? Do they ever share stories of when they were single? 

The Behavior: A person’s dating history often reveals patterns. Serial daters typically have a track record of short-term relationships and a specific narrative about how all those relationships ended.

What It Looks Like in Real Life:

• A long list of exes with no long-term relationships
• Stories where they’re always the one who ended things
• Never taking responsibility for why previous relationships failed
• Talking about exes in dismissive or superficial ways
• Mentioning they’ve “never really been single” as an adult
• Bragging about how many people were interested in them or wanted more
• Rarely discussing single life or time spent alone between relationships

Why They Do It: Pay attention to how someone talks about their past relationships and breakups. If they’ve never had a serious relationship despite being relationship-ready age, or if there’s a clear pattern of serial monogamy (jumping from one partner to the next with no gap), you’re likely dealing with a serial dater.If you gather that serial dating has taken center stage in their past, then be on your guard. 

Serial Dater vs. Casual Dating: What’s the Difference?

Understanding the difference between someone who casually dates and a serial dater is crucial. While these terms sometimes get confused, they describe fundamentally different approaches to dating life.

Casual dating is a legitimate choice when both people understand the expectations. Serial daters, however, often present themselves as interested in something more serious, creating emotional investment in their partners before pulling away. The difference isn’t about wanting commitment; it’s about honesty, self-awareness, and how they treat the people they date.

Someone who casually dates might eventually find a person they want to build a committed relationship with. Serial daters consistently avoid that progression regardless of who they’re with, often for deeper psychological reasons like fear of vulnerability, need for constant validation, or unaddressed mental health concerns.

What To Do If You’re Dating a Serial Dater

Recognizing these signs is one thing, but knowing how to respond is another. If you suspect you’re dating a serial dater, here are practical steps to protect your emotional well-being and determine whether the relationship has any real potential.

Have an Honest Conversation About Intentions

Serial daters often avoid clarity. Forcing a direct conversation about relationship goals can reveal whether they’re capable of commitment or will continue avoiding it.

Choose a calm moment (not after a fight) and ask directly: “What are you looking for right now?” and “Where do you see this going?” Their response (and more importantly, their willingness to have this conversation) tells you everything you need to know.

Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Serial daters thrive in ambiguity. Clear boundaries force them to either step up or reveal they can’t.

Be explicit about what you need: “I’m looking for exclusivity after [timeframe]” or “I need someone who’s emotionally available and ready for a committed relationship.” Don’t soften your needs to avoid conflict. You deserve someone who meets you where you are.

Know When To Walk Away

Sometimes the healthiest choice is ending a relationship that isn’t serving you, even if you have feelings for the person.

If you’ve had honest conversations, set boundaries, and seen no meaningful change, it’s time to move on. Don’t wait around hoping they’ll suddenly become ready for commitment. Serial daters rarely change their pattern without significant self-work that they choose to do independently.Walking away from a serial dater isn’t giving up; it’s choosing yourself and making room for someone who’s genuinely ready for the kind of relationship you want. Remember: you deserve someone who’s excited about building a future with you, not someone who’s always looking for their next escape route.

Moving Forward: Choosing What’s Right for You

Now that you understand the psychology behind why people become serial daters, can recognize the signs of a serial dater, and know the difference between serial dating and casual dating, it’s time to reflect on your own dating life and relationship goals.

If you’ve recognized that you’re dating a serial dater and you want something more substantial, it might be time to move on. You’re not giving up; you’re making space for someone who’s truly ready for the kind of partnership you deserve. Someone who doesn’t need convincing to commit, who values emotional depth, and who’s genuinely excited about building a future together.

Remember: the right person won’t make you question where you stand. They won’t avoid vulnerability or commitment. They’ll meet your readiness with their own. Ready to find someone who’s genuinely relationship-ready? Discover how Tawkify matches you with people who share your commitment to finding lasting love.